Reflections of Jade by J Harper McGowan

Prompt: That's a funny shade of green.

Staring into the mirror, I was confronted by the image staring back at me. There was blood splashed on her face and in her hair, and the bright, blue bruise around her cut, fattened lip contrasted greatly with her pallid flesh. The tears had stopped now, but their stains remained. I stood there, looking at my reflection; wondering how I’d become such a stranger to myself.
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“Hello, old friend, I’ve missed you,” I whispered. Seeing her repeat the words back to me, made me smile. The first real smile to move my lips in a very long time. She smiled too, and I felt welcome in her company.

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​I studied her hair, looking past the drying blood, and the tangled mess, I saw the subtle specs of grey. I noticed her skin: more spots; more lines; more texture. Age will sneak up on you if you’re not paying attention. Especially when you’re not paying attention. Then I met her eyes. They seemed greener than I remembered. But more welcoming now.

Derek loved my eyes. Derek loved me; and, I loved Derek. That magic kind of love that begins with endless anticipation and endures hardship. He’s in the next room now, still loving me.

The first time he hit me, I knew he still loved me. Loved my eyes. Loved my thighs. By the seventh time, I lost sight of myself. What did I do to make him this way? I stopped seeing myself altogether after the sixteenth time. After fifty, I no longer looked for myself. That’s also when I stopped counting. Why couldn’t I get it right? Do it right? I tried for so long to change, to be the woman he wanted me to be; needed me to be.

“Hello, old friend, I’ve really, really missed you,” I whispered again. I started to understand the woman looking back at me. We both smiled again. I wanted to hug her. She’s not broken. She didn’t get anything wrong. It took nearly two decades, some burnt toast, and a bloodied hammer, to finally see that; to finally fix it.

Derek’s in the next room now. They’ll be here soon to collect him; collect me too, I expect. I hope there’s a mirror where I end up. I look forward to spending a lot more time with her.

As I heard the sirens approaching, I reflected on the day we met:

“Hi, I’m Derek. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hi Derek.” I smiled. “I’m Jade. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Jade? That’s a funny shade of green, isn’t it?”

“Just like my eyes.”

“Your eyes are beautiful, Jade. Can I buy you a drink?”
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“I’d like that, yes.”

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J Harper McGowan is a single parent and business owner living in Calgary. Currently working his way through his first novel, he also enjoys writing all manner of fiction, including short stories, essays, poetry, and stage plays. He loves using fictional worlds and characters to reflect the many depths of our own lives.