ponder & wonder by marellah roda

​will you smile when you look back?
or will you turn to contempt?
i wonder and ponder your answer.
 
the years have gone past me like a flock
travelling south in lightning speed
the reflection before me, it’s gotten big
a bit dull, weathered, but intact.
i wonder my novelty.
 
two tiny hands hold a compass too big
the journey is curious and perilous,
i ponder the fork on the road
 
what next step should i take?
one too downtrodden, one too novel
yet all the same in contradiction.
my compass offers no answer, no north
 
it's at a standstill.
the wind and birds travel blindly past me,
and i look at them.
 
i wish for a grown and knowing hand
but i am not privy to that, no claim
my childish wiles are a spent force
i cannot stand too long,
so do not hate me too much,
for long i wondered and pondered the path.